shilton's fingertips

i will never admit that i made a real mess of it i was always taught make it look like someone else's fault i will shoulder no blame i've already given the police your name and your address and a recent a photograph i never had much faith in being saved the path i took was broken crazy paved but once i stopped with wanting it the magic in your fingertips amazed i have never understood how on earth it all turned out so good it's never felt like this without me having to pay for it i can finally dream to the end of the rise of this old machine the places i've been sent are better than anywhere we ever went i never had much faith in being saved the path i took was dirt road all the way but once i stopped with wanting it the magic in your fingertips amazed i only brushed her fingertips but it was enough

an attempt to disguise a soppy love song by dressing it up as a football analogy. if you're a good keeper it only takes the slightest touch.

i'm going to kill myself for christmas

my birthday is near christmas and i know this for sure that a birthday near christmas is no birthday at all no it never feels special and it's always the same if your birthday is near christmas then i know you feel my pain i'm going to kill myself for christmas to see how they like that put tinsel round my casket make the priest wear a party hat i'm going to kill myself for christmas to mark this special day pull crackers at my funeral sing carols at my wake oh santa i can feel the soil falling over my head

kevin hewick called this black comedy when i debuted this song at hunting for teeth in november 2005. he's not wrong. i'm forever whining about how irritating it is having your birthday near to christmas so why not write a song about it and get it out of my system? morrissey can sue